Some seek to dominate and others seek to be
dominated. I seek neither. My drug is freedom; freedom to be myself, freedom
to express myself after a long time imprisoned in others' fear and pain. In many ways I have been incarcerated in my various accommodating roles. I now choose to step out of these roles in a bid for a more authentic life.
"If you want to stay alive, stay authentic" as Dr. Gabor Maté says.
"If you want to stay alive, stay authentic" as Dr. Gabor Maté says.
Alas I have found that the wild and free
open heart attracts dominators and drainers not freedom-lovers. Most people seem to get
triggered by my desire for my own freedom. I refuse to play it small though. And if my
playing it big; big heart, big ass, big ideas, big head (if you will) triggers people then so
be it. That is their problem not mine. I am hurting no one in my vulnerability nor in my strength and I respect your freedom as long as it does not block mine. I am prepared to be disliked and
disapproved of in my bid for freedom. I am prepared to pay the price in my bid to take up more space.
Besides I
like to be alone. Solitude is my muse. The wilderness is my muse. As I wrote in one of my lyrics
"I don't need no-one to define me,
no I got all I need inside me."
I refuse to live a psychologically restricting and limiting life on everyone elses’ terms anymore. My primary relationship is with myself and so I choose to reconnect with myself after years of abandoning myself. I accommodated everyone else at the expense of myself. I now choose to suit myself more and to be kind and empathic to me. The rest will follow. Being kind to others starts by being kind to myself.
In Deborah Levy's excellent new memoir 'The Cost of Living' she tells the story of every woman throughout history who has expended her love and labour on making a home that turns out to serve the needs of everyone but herself. On her quest for personal freedom she writes "Freedom is never free. Anyone who has struggled to be free knows how much it costs."
The price of freedom is high but the cost of slavery is higher...
"I don't need no-one to define me,
no I got all I need inside me."
I refuse to live a psychologically restricting and limiting life on everyone elses’ terms anymore. My primary relationship is with myself and so I choose to reconnect with myself after years of abandoning myself. I accommodated everyone else at the expense of myself. I now choose to suit myself more and to be kind and empathic to me. The rest will follow. Being kind to others starts by being kind to myself.
In Deborah Levy's excellent new memoir 'The Cost of Living' she tells the story of every woman throughout history who has expended her love and labour on making a home that turns out to serve the needs of everyone but herself. On her quest for personal freedom she writes "Freedom is never free. Anyone who has struggled to be free knows how much it costs."
The price of freedom is high but the cost of slavery is higher...
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